Library
Posted on Sunday, October 11th, 2009 at 9:55 pmHi David: When you have a chance would you post the link to the Library app download. The fish and “salsa” were good. I’ll let you know if Ellen tries it on the ice cream! It was nice to laugh together. Jen
D: The “post” term was just meant to say “after Thursday” …after all that you had posted about already happened.
So, how would you feel if we picked a topic for next Thursday night…would it feel too controlling? Contrived. I think it would be…to keep it a little looser, we could each put a couple of topics in a hat and pull one out. Just a thought. I have liked knowing that we are going to meet each week on Thursday…and we can just continue to talk about what we like. Ending comment since we’re on the phone right now. Jen
Jen: I don’t know what you mean “My response is post Thursday.” Is there a post titled ‘Thursday’ where I will find a response? Or, is this a typo?
Replacing ‘History’ with ‘Feeling’ was a topic Mary Jane and I discussed. Often, couples fall into the habit of saying “You did this …” or “You did that … ” in order to make a point. Whether it makes the point or not, it always puts the other on the defensive. This may be counter productive. So, an alternative is to use ‘I’ statements rather than ‘You’ statements, and to talk about ‘feelings’ rather than ‘history’.
Yes. I plan to go to the Serenity BIP Monday night.
David
David: Thanks for this post. My response is post Thursday…still…replace “History” with “Feeling” that sounds like good advice. I’d like to explore that more with you next week. Just to confirm, you’ll be going to the group meeting next Monday night, right? The 6 pm time shouldn’t pose a problem in regards to picking up Ellen and having dinner with your folks would be nice for me and Ellen, too. I’ll talk to them about it. Well…off to start my day. Jen
Jen:
My last comment was cryptic. My intent was retaliation. Retaliation for being left in the dark. Retaliation for being told that you didn’t want to deal with “my history” anymore.
You say something like “I don’t want to deal with your history” – the brutally honest R rated version – and I get scared. Then you start sharing your own history – the completely censored PG version – and I get quite scared.
What can I do about that?
Today I worked on avoiding the negative self talk – “You’re doing this … You’re doing that …” And I tried to come up with some positive self care talk – “I can do this … I can do that …”
No – “YOU”
No – “WHY”
Replace “History” with “Feeling”
That’s Mary Jane’s BIP advice.
Mary Jane’s BIP meets a 6PM on Monday and 5:15 on Thursday. I’d like to go to one. I’d like to go to the one on Thursday this week. I think I should be able to arrange to leave Ellen here with someone around 4:30. You might even want to have dinner with my folks.
When does Ellen see the counselor?
So much for all that.
David
And thanks for the mango story. Of course, it did remind me of the rest of the story. It reminded me too of who you were rooming with when we dated. It reminded me of her story and the ashes on the fireplace. And I thought perhaps I’d overlooked the ashes you carry with you after reading the daily devotional in Courage to Change.
The Library app link was posted in a post titled “aim high“.
The direct link to the application download is here.