wordsworth

David:

I’m angry that I’ve allowed myself to disconnect from so much in my life in order to handle it. Our marriage. You. My family. Your family. My feelings. Ellen’s struggles. Dreams of a family business.

I’m learning that connection starts when I start to question, reach out, seek guidance, pray, learn about and take action. Simply put, to connect I have to take my head out of the sand. And, it’s scary up there…poking my head out has meant that it may get “knocked off”…better to stay below ground. At least it was…until I couldn’t breathe anymore…and the threat of getting my head “knocked off” was less scary than running out of air.

You wrote a lovely reminiscence about yourself as a young boy…thinking about your future family…feeling the love of your own family…like a good neighbor. It made me happy to read this…it made me happy because across the country in a different time zone was a young girl – myself – who daydreamed similar happy feelings about her future and the life she would build with that special someone someday. Sure, you could say it was pie-in-the-sky…ideal. You could say that those two young kids didn’t take into account the realities of life…the illnesses, the financial struggles, the compromises, the disconnect, the everything between the then and then. You could also say it was and still is happiness.

I haven’t seen much of your BIP homework lately…I haven’t seen it in your blogs. I know you are a good student…how are you taking what you are learning and putting it into action in your own life…how are you experiencing the proof of change?

Yesterday, while you and Ellen were visiting, I went to see John Cox to seek guidance on Post-Injunction. I already asked you to talk with your parents about staying there longer as we move into family counseling. I haven’t talked with you yet about an agreement between the three of us so we all know and agree to what the boundaries are. I’ve learned a good definition of boundaries…essentially that they are and should be malleable. I was frustrated that I didn’t have a clear vision of this…of how to talk about it with you…of how to agree. I told John I was ready to come up with an agreement…he suggested that you should do it…that you let Ellen and I know what boundaries you will respect during this time. He said he would work with you on this. So, I’d like to ask you to call John tomorrow (407.719.0632) and set up a visit to do this, and/or with MJ and/or Joyce or all. Ellen and I will need something to look over in the next week or so.

I’d like you to order a book – or get it from the library: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. It is required reading for Ellen’s Inquiry class. Inquiry is a life skills/study skills class. We only found out about the book last Thursday…just bought it yesterday. The first chapter talks about what a Paradigm shift is…how change can happen in an instant…kinda of like taking your head out of the sand.

Taking my head out of the sand hurts a little today as I have come down with a head cold…runny nose and stuffy…came on out of the blue yesterday afternoon. Ellen and I still made it out to the springs. We went to Wekiwa Springs first as the rain had started…stayed in the car with the back hatch open and played cards…then we were going to head home but the weather shifted so we decided to stay on our adventure and head to the Rock Springs Run. Two inner tubes and two hours later, we were two happy campers with a last summer fling under our belts.

Thanks for the little Nemo clip…for putting that song in my stuffy head.

Jen aka Ms. Grumpy Gills