Pat Butler
Posted on Monday, August 17th, 2009 at 11:40 amJen: July 21st my dad cut out a cartoon from the newspaper. It was a goof on anger management classes. A student in the class asks “How’d you stop being angry at idiots” The instructor answers “I created a school so they’d give me money while I insulted them” It sits loose on my dresser. Today I was straightening the dresser and looked at the story on the back of the cartoon. It was an obituary – for Pat Butler, Pollo Loco, WP Art Fest, Pat Butler. Any day could be the last one you leave your loved ones. David
David: Pat Butler. Since this post, I’ve been thinking of her and my contact with her…phone, email, seeing her at the art fest meeting. Helping us with all the info for the program.
Yes, any day could be the last one you leave your loved ones.
Before I left for NYC when Ellen was just 5 years old, I was very anxious about it…separation anxiety…fear of flying…what if the plane crashes! What if I die! I tried to tell myself that these thoughts were fear based (of course) and the fear was unreasonable…but every time I heard a plane or saw one flying over our house the fear was real to me. Of course, too, Ellen wasn’t completely weaned…so, here I was leaving her…that guilt didn’t stay with me long as I knew it was time and I knew she was with you, her Dad, and I wanted to go.
Well…anyway…back to fear of flying…the fear of dying…I remember distinctly standing at the kitchen sink doing the dinner dishes – one night shortly before I was to leave – when the thought came to me…what would I be doing right now, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow? And the answer came to: exactly what I’m doing…washing dinner dishes…getting ready to sit down with my family and watch a movie together…this is enough. The fear was gone…the separation anxiety…well that didn’t leave until after the first night in NYC when my eyes wouldn’t shut and it took everything in me to stay in bed and not jump up, hail a cab in my pajamas and make a bee line back home. Somehow the sirens ended up lulling me to sleep and the next day was the start of a very good visit with Michael…and independence for Ellen from Mom.
Thanks for letting me know about Pat.
Jen