F=fun
Posted on Saturday, August 8th, 2009 at 9:41 pmJudge Jenny: I’ve read over your suggestions for ‘working it out’. None are unrealistic. However, they lack a certain joie de vivre. They have a distinctively flat fun quotient. If you require, a doctor could be found to prescribe the necessary remedy – a night out, an afternoon at the beach, a paddle down the Rainbow River – all which have a strong likelihood of achieving a fun quotient of at least point six. In fact, there may even be a study financed by the Florida state legislature supporting the conclusion that some couples actually enjoy fun. We could try some fun and find out. Might work better than therapy. Although such an out-of-network solution may not be covered one hundred per cent by insurance, and it may actually cost more than having our heads shrunk by a qualified head shrinker. But, ultimately, I quess, it’s a matter of priorities. To have fun, or not to have fun – that is the question. Isn’t it? David
Jen: It’s about twelve. I’ve got a box of fruit in the truck I’ll drop at the house. First, though, I am feeding the chick, doing an errand for Dr. Camm, and feeding the chick again.
I’m fresh out of BIP. Another fellow did check-in. And when I was asked for input the subject changed to parenting. That was easier. It’s easier, and even, I think, healthier to talk about nurturing in a classroom of fathers who’ve discovered control is a dead end.
I’ll work on owning your suggested check-in. I don’t want to own it. But I see that I can.
Though I didn’t check-in, I did a check-in write up.
ACTION: Told Jen her check-in suggestion sounded like an issue for therapy and if she wanted therapy and money was an issue I could drop therapy.
INTENT: To ‘shorten her leash’. To make her feel bad and stupid. To tell her she was nuts. To hang a dollar sign on happiness.
BELIEF: I’m smarter, faster, stronger. She isn’t paying attention. She’s controlling.
Anyway, I don’t think you’re nuts. But I do have some quirky beliefs that ignite painful fears that do spew out in words that don’t work.
Hasta,
David
D: Your comparison was clear…I guess it just wasn’t the part that made me feel bad, so I didn’t reference it in the Check-In…I remembered you saying to take away the context of the Check-In. That’s what I was trying to do? I will take a look at that post again and Check-In with myself.
Therapy: Thank you for your offer of going less frequently so I can go to Serenity, too. I do have access to some therapy through work and will continue there through August.
Jen
Jen: That’s an interesting check-in idea. It sounds to me like a therapy issue at least. The intent in the August post was pretty clear – to draw a comparitive contrast between the luxury you were asking my parents give you and the basic respect you refused to ask your parents give me, AND, as you’ve said, to make you step back and feel bad … about being so self-centered you couldn’t see that I was due some ‘equality’. So, you do have a point – it’s check-in material. But are you being honest with me? Did I really fail so completely to make my point clear?
If you want individual therapy now, then you should have it. If I need to reduce the frequency of my visits to Serenity in order for there to be money for you to see someone, then I can do that – I’ve already told Mary Jane that might be necessary. David
The movie was very good. The relationship portrayed between Julia Child and her husband, Paul, was – to me – a good example of an Equality Wheel Relationship with love – worth seeing for that. Also between the other main character, Julie and her husband. It was really delightful and sweet. We all enjoyed it. I’m ready to give Beef Bourguignon a try…with grape juice!
Housekeeping
Yard: Well, I was a wild woman on the riding mower today, letting out hoots and hollars…the wheel lines on the front left yard are proof…also, I almost got stuck in the ditch and had trouble getting around all the posts at the duplex. I did, however, manage to get more comfortable maneuvering the beast.
Pool: The connection point of the hose circulating water into the pool popped right off, twice, so I added a clamp at the point of connection and found a better piece of wood for support. I filled the pool up some, but not all the way as I am going to get in and vacuum it and don’t want to have to reach too deep to do it…still enough water is in it to cool off.
Light in Bedroom: I bought a very inexpensive shade at IKEA, just to get something over the bare bulb. It is temporary until I can figure out how to install the “sand” light you bought me. It is made for a ceiling installation…I’m sure it can be done, just may require some different hardware, creative thinking and time.
Good night,
Jen
RE: Check-In
Action: From the August Schedule Post (you wrote): You want to ask my parents to give you something – a few days at the beach, a luxury out of reach for most people.
Intent: To make Jen feel like she doesn’t deserve luxury.
Belief: Only I can ask things of my parents.
I might be too late for this…but this is one thing I thought of that happened in the last six weeks. When I read your comments from the August Schedule post, I did feel small and wondered why you thought I didn’t have a right to ask your parents for something directly…and I did get angry about it at first. I felt like you didn’t see me as a member of the family and this surprised me…then I remembered just how difficult all this is. Sorry I’m not more articulate about it.
RE: Non-controlling behavior (phone calls to office): Thanks for writing about this. I always hated those calls…I answer the phone and there you are on the other end yelling. This suggestion goes past non-controlling behavior…smack dab to the ideal center of the Equality Relationship Wheel…just call to talk.
I don’t mind working on the homework assignments…helping you or my own…let me know what the new week brings.
Jen
How was the movie?
RE: Canoe – It’s nice…I like the seat backs! Colorful, too…kinda like a rainbow…I guess you can start bargaining and see just how eager they are to sell…offer $300, settle on $350? Let me know how it goes.
J
Jen: Check this out – very unusual all-around canoe. David
D – I did go on-line and look up the Rainbow River. $40 buys you the day – except for the picnic lunch. Are you thinking about borrowing a canoe for the day? Anyway, you know I’ve wanted a canoe so having one around would be fine…however, I’d appreciate it if you would check the price/bank account with me first as I do need to start paying on some medical bills.
Ellen and I are getting ready to mow…then Mom invited us to go see the new movie Julie & Julia…a movie about Julia Child’s life and a woman who cooked all of the recipes in Julia Child’s French Cooking Cookbook in one year and lived to blog about it (over 500 recipes)! Since, as you know, I’ve been into the food blogging sites, I’m looking forward to it. Check out the trailer (julieandjulia.com). Will be home around 9 pm and take a look at the Wheel then. J
Hope you had a good walk.
J
Here’s where I’m at – week 18. I need a ‘Check-In’, something in the last 6 weeks.
And, if I’m to wait until tonight, I’ll take a walk now.
Well, then, shall I find us a canoe?
RE: Emotional Abuse share…If I do have anything to share, it will be posted later tonight. J
Will Counsel please approach the bench:
Atty Foley. Flirting with the Judge is unacceptable. However, in this case (Judge covers mic with hand and continues in a whisper – due to your tiny sexy butt – uncovers mic). I will make an exception.
However, for this appeal to be taken under serious consideration, the word “but” will have to be stricken from the record.
Verdict – Joie de vivre: Guilty! See you on the Rainbow.
Judge Jenny
Speaking of fun – tomorrow my BIP homework is due for week eighteen. The subject is Emotional Abuse. If you want to share any memory of Emotional Abuse, please do so that I can include it in this week’s assignment.