wordsworth

Jennifer: Spanish was out of the question for Mary Jane – her name in spanish just didn’t suit her self image. Maria Juana, after all, was just one ‘a’ away from marijuana. So, she studied French, instead. And was speaking it by age five.

Today, of course, was Mary Jane day.

Mary Jane had done a bit of homework for me. She’d prepared a packet of information on the effects of domestic violence on children. And she’d read the “Thank You” post. I’d asked her the week before to help me with both.

I haven’t looked over the packet yet. So, there’s nothing I can say about it.

Mary Jane had two concerns about the “Thank You” post. First, the word “But”. Second, my critiquing your ‘check-in’, or as her groups would call it your ‘conrol-log’.

Mary Jane said I was, as I intended to be, very neutral in the first half of the post. Then, immediately after the word ‘But’, I hammered you.

‘But’ is a passive aggressive solvent – it unglues every word preceding it. Not a great metaphor. But … it’s late.

Mary Jane said that after the word ‘But’ I told you that nothing you had done or could do was any good.

In other words, she found a way to tell me “Don’t do that” without telling me I was no good; she showed me there IS a difference you may already see.

She asked me “Are you asking her to do something she can’t do?”

I thought, perhaps I was, and said so.

“Can you just see that she can’t and accept that’s who she is?”

I thought, perhaps I could, and said so.

But …

Acceptance is just that.

And …

It really is late.

Good-night,

David