wordsworth

David:

Mary Jane did call me late last Friday afternoon. I was only a little surprised…yet pleased. Her voice matches your descriptions of her…I found her to be intelligent with a nice energy and no-nonsense approach…funny. 

I asked about family counseling…she said that she will only see you…that she would recommend another counselor in her group for family counseling…she explained (my interpretation)  that if couples or families start family counseling too early in the healing/recovery process then there is potential for more violence…he said, she said…why did you bring that up now…etc. So, her focus is to work with you now.

I did ask my question about recommending contact/visitation before speaking to me and Ellen. Again, my understanding is that MJs focus is you…helping you understand why your anger turns violent…giving you tools…helping you to learn new/positive behaviors and to help reestablish contact between you and Ellen in a safe environment for Ellen. She knew that Ellen feeling safe is paramount for a positive connection with you.

You mentioned on your July 4th weekend check-in (7-12-09) under #6 Effects to Others I think Ellen is effected but I don’t think she’s had a safe place to talk about it.

Can you talk to me a little bit on how you plan to give Ellen a safe place – to create a safe place for her. I know Family Ties is a start…what else can you tell me about this…I sincerely want to know… and can wait for your answer.

Ellen and I have gone to talk with John Cox…she does open up there…and also with a counselor named Evelyn at the employee assistance program through work. Also at home, I let her know she can come to me to work through difficult issues, or even just to listen to her (though that one is harder as I – no surprise to you, I’m sure – want to jump in with advise…but sometimes, and Ellen reminds me…she just wants to share her thoughts)…to even start out with “Mom, this is difficult for me to say…” Ellen let’s me know that she has Mattie to talk to and while I let her know it’s important to have a good friend, it’s also important to have others to reach out to…a circle of support. I believe the Alateen group is a safe place for her to share, (and to listen) too. Also, at Glenridge we went to meet the “chill counselor” and talked with Helen, too…so Ellen knew she had people to go while at school.

Anyway…I wasn’t planning to go on this morning…just wanted to let you know that Mary Jane and I did connect – thank you – Ellen and I refer to her as MJ…hope she likes Spider Man!

Gotta run…the birds are calling and I’ll be late if I don’t get started now.

Have a good day.

Jen