Apology
Posted on Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 8:31 amEllen and David: I want to apologize to each of you…to both of you. I interfered with your blogging. Last night I asked you (Ellen) if you were going to blog to your Dad (you David)…to let him know – at the least – that you read his recent posts. I was being controlling and I apologize to you…to each of you. What you blog, when you blog, how long or short you blog – even while our posts are there for all to see – is between you. Recently, David (your Dad) wrote me (your Mom) the following: Change…good luck with that. I understand now. I have had two instances where I had the opportunity to show growth, change and instead, so easily, fell back into old habits. This depressed me and made me sad. It took me back to Step 1: I am powerless…and I went to a meeting where the topic was forgiveness…so, I’ll ask you two to forgive me as I remain in progress. Mom/Jen
Cool.
Hi David:Ellen and I did meet James (just a little while before Ellen went to camp) after separate meetings at the Thursday night (Lake Ivanhoe) meeting. It was a good conversation…Ellen, Mattie, James and I all interacted (Marie was talking with a friend)…and all those suggestions you just made were voiced…how much Mattie and James look alike…act alike – movements – …sound alike, and I know I asked him about his tatoos…I remember one of them…an Indian…and I think a big cat. Ellen had been invited to go to church with them shortly after we met and I said the same thing you did…that this was Mattie’s time…sometimes, her only time…with her Dad. So, Ellen didn’t go that week…not until Mattie asked her Dad if she could invite Ellen…which she did and which he said yes, to. This all happened before Ellen went to camp and I didn’t think about it much again until Friday, when Ellen told me she was invited this weekend. Mattie was very excited to introduce Ellen to her Dad…just like Ellen was excited to introduce Mattie to you, so, I think all has lined up as you would like (and as I would like) for Ellen to go to church today and get to know Mattie’s Dad (and his tatoos) better, and for Mattie’s Dad to get to know Ellen. Jen
Jen, Ellen can do alot of things with Mattie, but not everything; somethings Mattie really may need to do on her own, and Marie, too. If the invitation came directly from James to Ellen, then by all means Ellen should go. However, as I’ve no reason to believe Mattie and her mom and her dad often get together, or go to church, then I think maybe even Ellen would understand that it might be best to let her friend spend that time with her real parents in worship, or whatever. I know whenever it is that I see the two of you, I may have to share every minute with some fourth or fifth person, but it won’t be because I invited them. So, again, if James specifically and personally asked Ellen to come, Ellen should go, otherwise, I suggest Ellen find another time to spend with Mattie. If Ellen does go, then I do hope she makes a point to get to know her friend’s father. She can ask him about his tatoos, or tell him just how much like him Mattie looks, the shape of his nose, the intensity of his eyes, etc. Again, I think she should pass without a specific invite from the man she should make a point to meet. David
How did you know! As a matter of fact…I just got out of a not-so-deep dip in the pool and just before that I cleaned the gutter…so should I pass the blame…blame it on the sun! I’ve got to check with my parents to see what’s next, too. Ellen and I are going back for the evening. Ellen has been invited to go to the Unitarian Church with Mattie and Mattie’s Dad, James, tomorrow morning. I remember we went to a service there together a long time ago. I remember I liked it well enough to have no objection to Ellen attending tomorrow. How about you? Jen
Wow! What is going on with you? Have you been out in the sun all day? Did you just come in from doing the lawn? Did you just finish a cold sweet drink? You sound terribly frisky!
I just got in and I’ve got to check with my parents to see what’s next. But in the meantime, I’ll give you the freeze-dried abbreviation of my idea of forgiveness – it’s the same as vengence, but you do it to yourself. Self-inflicted vengence, in other words. No one I’ve talked to likes the idea. But none of them have gone to jail.
DW: Can tough even be measured…or is it one of those all or nothing things…do or don’t do…I’m ready…bring it on…bring on forgiveness…I’m serious…I need a deep dive! JT
Hi David, I’ll tell her. And, then I’ll tell her again and again. Lesson on forgiveness…tough enough? Tell me all about it…where do I find it? How tough do I have to be? Jen
Well, Jen, I guess we’ll have to accept you as you are – controlling us one way, and then another.
I have a whole lesson on forgiveness, if you think you’re tough enough!
Oh, no, please, interfere, control, control, control. Tell Ellen I’m addicted to affection. I crave it. And don’t forget – there’s no cure! Tell Ellen that, too. Tell her I need her to send me some affection. Tell her that she “gets what she gives”. Tell her to really GIVE!!! And tell her – just like Nat King Cole – I am never satisfied! I’m never satisfied! I’m never satisfied, until you kiss me once again before you say good-night and hold me tight, tight, tight.