Serenity
Posted on Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 at 5:18 pmJen:
First, a thanks. Thank you for your cooperation and, more importantly, your support. I had very little hope three months ago, felt utterly abandonned, and couldn’t imagine ever connecting with anyone. That isn’t so today.
Mary Jane at Serenity Counseling reminded me today that you, per a message left on her voice mail, would like to speak to her about her recommendation for supervised visitation through Family Ties. If that is something you still would like to do, I must sign a release to permit it, and you must move the court to permit it.
Do you want to move the court to permit any third party contact incidental to a discussion with Mary Jane Natishyn of her recommendation for supervised visitation through Family Ties?
David
Hi David,
Share – accept. Yes, I want to do more of that. I’m glad you are…doing it. I’ll have some time late tomorrow night to review some of your recent posts and share some of my DV class notes.
Hasta til then…Jen
OK. You do want to speak with Ms. Natishyn. She’d like to speak to you. I’d like the two of you to talk.
Tomorrow ask Mike or Vivian what can be done.
I’ll do the same.
My understanding is that any contact you have with Ms. Natishyn could be construed as third party contact which is prohibited by the injunction. So, the injunction should be modified to permit third party contact incidental to your contact with her.
So, tomorrow we’ll get to the bottom of it.
Tomorrow we’ll have a better idea how to do it.
Big storm out there.
That it?
Nothing to yak about?
Thermostat? Pool pump? Did you think fairies polished that stove top? They did. But they told me they’d no time to do the toaster oven – another, more demanding, job across town for a no-income, elderly shut-in.
Mary Jane Natishyn. Has an eleven year old daughter named Claire Anna. Lives with her daughter’s father Alan. Teaches a three hour class early in the morning two days a week at the University. Does two weekly evening BIP classes at her office. Likes to dabble in numerological charts in her off hours.
There’s a fellow that specializies in lie dectection for child abuse investigations that shares office space with she and her counseling collegue, Bill, a tall thin fellow with salt and pepper shoulder length hair who never seems to have a client while I visit, and spends a bit of that hour sitting on the balcony outside Mary Jane’s window at Wilshire Plaza smoking cigarettes.
She told me today I was breathing better.
She told me teens shop for identity. They change their name. Trade outfits. Share music. Basically, toss into the air all the values they were taught between two and ten, and watch them as they crash, or bounce, or float to the ground. They’re in their twenties or older before they completely return to snuggle into the comforts found in those values that nurtured their youth.
Mary Jane Natishyn read a-l-l the Wican books … by age eleven. Nothing to worry about she says. A teen wants spirit. Wants to run the well worn paths other pilgrims pioneered. Oh, Mary Jane made it all sound so delightful! And away went the grief that filled me Saturday night when I went into Ellen’s room to borrow her big green pillow and found so much that I was missing.
She seemed genuine today when I said good-bye and she replied that it had been nice seeing me too.
Yeah, you need some of this Jen.
Hey, and I am earning points at No Abuse, too. Right. Monday I won the Check-In Challenge. A guy checked-in with a story about an argument with his girlfriend in a car. “We had an argument” he said. He went on. Described what he said. What he did. What he intended to do to her emotionally. What belief permitted him to treat her poorly. And then Joyce asked us each to pick apart the story. Poor guy. He really got grilled. Then when it looked as though there was no one left in the room with another critical word, Joyce made the challenge. “There’s one more thing I need to hear. What else did he say that minimized his actions. It’s just one word. Whoever gets it has no homework next week!”
“We” I said. “He said ‘we’ had an argument.”
“Bingo. WE have a winner!”
It was sad. Looks like books. Alone with abusive men.
I know. I know. You are somewhere else completely. And I am alone here writing to myself. Just imagining you. There. When you’re not. And all I’m doing. Here. Is practice. Of the wrong kind.
You have alot of humility. I like that about you. You broadcast it. It’s what you put out there. What does it win you?
I’d like to tell you about another check-in I heard Monday from a guy Joyce described as predatory. I won’t go into it now. But I do want to say that I do want Ellen to be happy with both of us so that she is not an easy target for anyone looking for a disappointment to exploit.
Oh! Here’s a flash. Do you know the price of a gun in the halls of the Ninth Grade Center? That woman Joyce says stuff that scares the crap out of me.
Oh! And Amber Ford, my probation officer, was there Monday to observe the class and watch me get my gold star. Her other parolee was the predator. Hmmm.
Oh! MJ Natishyn did listen to me talk about why Ellen’s hair cut was important to me, why her handwritting was important to me, why I was bothered by your, and your mother’s, criticism of the handwriting challenge I gave Ellen. In a nutshell … my concern for Ellen’s hair grew from my experience with the way my skin was irritated by bangs in middle school and how I then began parting it in the middle and allowing it to grow longer … my concern for Ellen’s hand writing grows from: 1) the dyslexia expressed in the many years it took for her to regularly and successfully distinquish the letters ‘d’ and ‘b’; 2) the important link between good penmanship and correct spelling, particularly of the common and commonly mispelled words like to, two, and too, their, there, and they’re, your and you’re, etcetera; and 3) the message poor penmanship broadcasts, and the predators it attracks. So, anger here I have, in the past, justified by saying to myself that my daughter must be saved from stupid people, particularly relatives. Now, of course, it’s out of my hands. And she can get a gun for twenty bucks. And mispell common words. And broadcast her weakness to a hungry world. Hmmm. But I’m going in the wrong direction. And I’ve got more to learn. So, share – accept. Those are the by-words, the wordsworth.
Hasta,
David
David: My message to Ms. Natishyn was also to ask her some questions about counseling, how it progresses between now and the end of September (next Injunction hearing)…I know you said that Ellen and I will see her…I want to know if I can see her alone, too…actually I just wanted to make an initial contact and find out more about her practice (does she subscribe to the theories/healing practices in the Intimate Abuse book?)…I wasn’t even sure of all the questions I could have/should have…I was looking for a conversation/contact with her as, like I wrote before, I was a little surprised that the recommendation came before speaking with Ellen and I. I just thought that’s how things would go…you…family…visitation…but, it’s ok…really…and I’m glad you and Ellen are blogging and enjoying it. I know she will have quite a bit to share once she gets home…you two probably won’t be able to stop yakking!:-)
Regarding visitation, It is my intention to move forward with Ms. Natishyn’s recommendation.I received an email from Mr. Morris and it’s my understanding that as long as I agree that Ms. Natishyn’s recommendation satisfies the Stipulation, the additional recommended contact and the start of the Family Ties process could proceed without a court order. I’m planning to drop off a letter at his office tomorrow morining stating this as he wanted signed correspondence. Will ask Mr. Morris to clarify and communicate next steps to each of us.
Anyway…I try to be really clear in the blog…it can be so easy to misunderstand…so I’ll recap:
Yes, my intention is to agree to Ms. Natishyn’s recommendation for additional contact and visitation (without speaking to her – will drop off letter at Mr. Morris’ office tomorrow morning).
Yes, I would still like to speak with Ms. Natishyn.
Thanks, David.
Jen